Bad Teacher Survivor Gifts

"Wasn't Gracie teaching you how to play poker?"

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

The lesser of two evils.

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."