Bad Film Aficionado Gifts

The movie is so bad the server recommends ventilation.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Canadian film production

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Moby Dick

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Spoiler alert."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

Hollywood Breakup

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'