Bad Book Enthusiast Gifts

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

My Literary Influences

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Is this your first book launch?'