Backyard Guardian Gifts

"Thank you for respecting my no-fly zone"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Deaths from Coronavirus

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Bumble Bee

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Biodiversity

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

"Beware of God"

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

"Relax. They're just crows."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Watering the garden gnome

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Beware of the Lawn

Earth Day Summit.

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

The afternoon shower catches the couple in the tropical garden. The rain shimmers on the flowers that perfume the air. Ryan Beardsley looks into her eyes and whispers. Twig! Watch where you're watering! The humidity begins to affect her mood!

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'Eye response, normal.' - Deer Physicals.

Planner at work.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.