Yard Vigilante Gifts

"Beware of God"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Must get a longer cable."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

Business cartoon of video camera spying on 'anonymous tips' box.

Welcome to the Garden of Weedin'

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

'So are you going to like fight crime?'

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

Ace Towing.

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

"Do you realize we still have a huge bag of leaves from last year?"

"Neighborhood Watch anti-violence meeting. Be there or else."

'My costume is scary data ... get it?'

'I know it's overgrown - we can't find our house!'

Don't feed the bears vegetables.

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'