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"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

The experienced backpacker.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Travelling

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."