Babysitting Bartenders Gifts

"And on tap I've got Enfamil, Isomil, and Gerber Lite."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'The child is very illogical'

Yoga for Alcoholics

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'No ice.'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Coping with a strong-willed child