Babysitting Bartenders Gifts

"And on tap I've got Enfamil, Isomil, and Gerber Lite."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

The Baby Walker

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Now I really hate poetry."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'No ice.'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Coping with a strong-willed child