Baby Stroller Chuckles Pillows

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Mine's still in bed."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Newborn making the V-sign

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

At the baby oil factory.

'One small tooth for me...one giant worry for you.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

"That's fathering."

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

Your CV is rather thin...

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

"I'm tied in with a leash. Where the heck do they think I'm going to run to??"

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

'It's half past November, young man! Get back into your room and hibernate!'

I brought two #1 pencils.

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

Tapeworm befriends umbilical cord,

He was such a big baby the doctor wished he'd never smacked him.

"He's the spitting image of his Daddy!"