Baby's First Winter Gifts

Chilly baby.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"They grow up so fast."

Madonna of the Pukes.

A young Don King

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

Twenty-first century baby walker

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"They look so young and helpless."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.