Baby's First Impression Gifts

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

Twenty-first century baby walker

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

A baby using a heavy duty drill

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Still won't talk. We've tried everything aside from sodium pentothal."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

Chilly baby.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Is there a problem officer?"

Moms gone wild

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"I didn't want anything. I just wanted to see how fast you could get here in case of an emergency!"

A couple with a new baby

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'