Baby Gear Collectors Pillows

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'Wh? There's that noise again. Sounds like a (shudder) baby's rattle!'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Whoa

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

Elton John

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Bouncing baby

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

Duck in a bathtub