Baby Gear Aficionado Pillows

'As his grandfather, I suggest you purchase the one with the side impact guards and heavy duty bumper.'

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Whoa

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

'How many fingers do you see?'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Bouncing baby

Giving Birth

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"