Baby Gear Aficionado T-Shirts

'As his grandfather, I suggest you purchase the one with the side impact guards and heavy duty bumper.'

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'How many fingers do you see?'

Uterus: One size fits all.

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Bouncing baby

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Baby Carriers

Mobile.

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

No bottle feeding.