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'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

'How many fingers do you see?'

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Bouncing baby

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Mobile.

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'