Babywearing Aficionado T-Shirts

"Let me guess -- first child?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

I love my family!

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Open other end

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

Lemming mothers

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Maternity Hospital

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'