Baby Gear Guru Pillows

"Sometimes it seems you don't want to talk about baby strollers."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

'Aww, his first mobile...'

New Dad.

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Bob hated baby talk.

'A work in Progress.'

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"You're right... the babies are getting bigger."

Super Baby

"My owners aren't baby talking to me anymore. I'm going to be replaced by a real baby!"