Baby Keepsake Collectors Pillows

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"He looks just like your husband."

Maternity Ward

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'

Giving Birth

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'