Baby Keepsake Collectors Pillows

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Whoa

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"He looks just like your husband."

Maternity Ward

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

Elton John

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'

Giving Birth

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'