Newborn Accessory Collector Pillows

"My grandchild deserves a good stroller, but this thing costs more than my first car!"

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Baby Bear.

'How many fingers do you see?'

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"Six down, three to go!!"

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

'A work in Progress.'

Bob hated baby talk.

"My owners aren't baby talking to me anymore. I'm going to be replaced by a real baby!"