Baby Einstein Starter Kit Pillows

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

Today at school...we did algorithms for Quantum computation.

Constructing your own prison!

My child is a genius.

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

Proud mums.

'Psst...e=mc?.'

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

"Might as well try and acclimate them when they're young."

'...The household robot laughed to see such sport and the ipad ran away with the smart phone.'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Why are you a Yankees fan? Purple pinstripes are WAY better than blue ones. Go Rockies! See ya in the series this year! -Love, prettyinpurple. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Why do I like the Yankees, Rudy? Dunno. Why do I like Cuban cigars, 100-year-old port, John Wayne, Albert Einstein rubbing my feet while I bathe in salt from THE DEAD SEA?! Um ... Why must I be subjected to letters like this?!?! I can't get past the Einstein thing ...

"Simple - the magnesium ion set among four nitrogen ions is the porphyrn responsible for chlorophyll. Any other questions?"

'Beginning Prodigy Book' - 'Lolly Builds a Cyclotron'

Mathematics

For years he had spent every free moment working on his perpetual motion machine. So far, he was up to 18 seconds.

Build up a lawyer

'Frankly Martin we were hoping for a slightly more radical response to the obesity epidemic than 'buy bigger pants'.'

'He's so bright he scares me!'

"I'm looking for a rattle that both informs and entertains."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'Oh, Papa, look. Junior is taking his first step.'

"Both of you are rotten and hateful—from a kid's perspective."

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

'See! We can yes travel back in time!'