Awkward Traveler Champion Gifts

Somewhere in France - "Here is your yellow canary", has not, so far, been the most useful of phrases.

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Kardiff.

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Airplane Mode.

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Injured backpacker.

Safari.

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Recalculating

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

Dollywood...Nirvana... 'I'm lost.'

Tourist sunbathing on Easter Island beach

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

I told you not to touch its belly.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

'Me lost, I come in peace.'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'You're checking in for our flight--you don't have to play max coins.'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."