Awkward Situations Lover Gifts

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

"OK, let's go over your sales pitch one more time."

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

"I was happy that my girlfriend came to me to ask how to delete a contact from her iPhone. . . until I learned it was my contact that she was deleting."

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

'Geesh! Didn't your mom ever tell you to put on clean underwear in case you get in an accident?!'

"The interview was going great until she noticed on my c.v. that I was her ex husband."

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

"Apropos-of-nothing last words." "...John Stamos' middle name is Phillip."