Awkward Situations Lovers Gifts

"Will you be needing any additional room keys, or are you going to stay in all evening and watch porn?"

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"I was happy that my girlfriend came to me to ask how to delete a contact from her iPhone. . . until I learned it was my contact that she was deleting."

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Geesh! Didn't your mom ever tell you to put on clean underwear in case you get in an accident?!'

"The interview was going great until she noticed on my c.v. that I was her ex husband."

Lovers Guide, "I can't get it in !"

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

Dr. Miska: Eye, Ear, Nose and Embarrassing Bodily Functions.

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

"Apropos-of-nothing last words." "...John Stamos' middle name is Phillip."

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'