Awkward Interaction Appreciator Pillows

"Feel my shirt! Wanna Know what it's made of? Boyfriend material!"

Showbiz Awards

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

Speed Dating Disasters

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Are you blushing?!"

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but your sweaty hand is grossing me out."

"Cruz, I didn't send flowers to Rayna! We haven't dated in forever! Ever since I joked about calling her Anne Droid."

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

Outingpatient