Awkward Encounters Guru Pillows

"Would you prefer me to hover over you silently or awkwardly try to make small talk?"

Very Difficult Conversations

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"But he's no longer with us."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

The originator of the office birthday party.

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

'En-counter'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

"I appreciate the overture, Nick, but I'm trying to cut down on after-work cocktails with Mr. Wrong."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'