Awkward Encounters Guru T-Shirts

"Would you prefer me to hover over you silently or awkwardly try to make small talk?"

Very Difficult Conversations

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

Turtle Blind dates

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"But he's no longer with us."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

The originator of the office birthday party.

'En-counter'

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"I appreciate the overture, Nick, but I'm trying to cut down on after-work cocktails with Mr. Wrong."

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."