Awkward Encounter Storyteller T-Shirts

"It's too soon to talk about an IPO on a first date."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

Turtle Blind dates

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"But he's no longer with us."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'En-counter'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

The originator of the office birthday party.

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'

Travis Walton - Fire in the Sky