Award Presenter Pillows

"And the award goes to...but then again, why bother?"

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Presentation skills.

"So that's where you were last night."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

May I have the envelope, please?

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

How to engage an audience

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."