Award-winning Individuals Pillows

Presidential Medal of Freedom

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Award Winning Gardener

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"So that's where you were last night."

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Zdeno Chara

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Norman E-Mailer

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'