Award Winning Pillows

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Award Winning Gardener

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Win - win

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"So that's where you were last night."

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Zdeno Chara

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '