Award Recognition Pillows

"First, I'd like to thank the Academy."

'I didn't get re-elected, but I won an Emmy for my campaign promises!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Award Winning Gardener

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"So that's where you were last night."

Employee of the Month

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Oscars 2024

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.