Annual Awards Pillows

Annual Awards Ceremony: "This is my favourite time of year, when we celebrate our achievements!"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

A man looks up at the earth

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Employee of the Month

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

May I have the envelope, please?