Received Award Pillows

'Congratulations on winning the Triple Crown.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Award Winning Gardener

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Employee of the Month

"So that's where you were last night."

Alexander Fleming

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

Zdeno Chara

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

Employee of the month...