Received Award Pillows

'Congratulations on winning the Triple Crown.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Award Winning Gardener

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Cat Show

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Win - win

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Alexander Fleming

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"So that's where you were last night."

Employee of the Month

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

Zdeno Chara

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...