Award Collecting Pillows

Employee of the month...

That one's for successfully maintaining possession of my mittens.

'...and this one is for walking the genral's dog!'

General gets a jackpot of medals at the casino slot machine.

'This one is for not hinting in T.V. interviews that Burma's pacifists should be send WMPs.'

'Have you been in long?'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

The Victors

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Award Winning Gardener

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Cat Show

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

Dad Trophies

'Guess what? I won again.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Pinata Trophies

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

First Prize!

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."