Prize Collecting Pillows

Ticket prizes...

"Congratulations Mr. Baker! Out of hundreds of entries you have won third prize in the chronicle's prize draw - a years supply of firm hold hairspray."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

The Victors

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Award Winning Gardener

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, they're not my children. They gave me these for doing a good job at work.'

Cat Show

Dad Trophies

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Win - win

'Guess what? I won again.'

Pinata Trophies

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Dept. of the Treasury

Portfolio, 2011

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Quick swig first?"

First Prize!

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

Wine tasting

Red Wine