Avocado Sacrifice T-Shirts

'A lifetime sentence for bein' cute.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Advocado

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Avocado Timeline

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"I specifically asked for two olives! Not one." "Bad waiter!"

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

Mediterranean Martini

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Olives

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

When avocados go soft

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"We have big news!"

"I'm not doing this because I like it. I'm doing this because I love you."

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"You've got to lose some weight!"

Avacados

Liberty's Sacrifice

"I've got the Los Angeles office on the line. Does anyone need avocados?"

Avocado Prices

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

"Emma's been planting all the stones from our avocados."

Ostrich reacts to looking at animal videos, reading the news and watching Fox news.

"Oh, man! I need to start working out!"

Olives (man at bar)

"I can always find the olives. It's the only jar that looks back at me!"

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.