Aviator Wannabes Gifts

'I appreciate you desire to volunteer with Pilots Without Borders, but being a flightless bird you haven't enough flying hours to qualify with us.'

The Hobby Store

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

Boy pilot.

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Why Superman flies himself

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

The Aerial Steam Carriage

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

'When we start the countdown, you creep up under the rocket, light the fuse, then run like hell.'

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

The aviation experts come out to play

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

Angel learning to fly...

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

"It's my emotional support animal."

'No, I don't do much flying. I'm just here for the peanuts!'

Arrivals, Purgatory, Departures.

A bunch of penguins look on as one penguin hang glides above them.

Jobs Alexa couldn't do.

Hey! A PIG CAN DREAM!

'Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...'

I'm sorry, sir, but your luggage was deemed offensive and destroyed.

'I need a plane I can fly high enough each day to smoke my cigars without offending anyone.'

'I wanted to be a fighter pilot. But I'm colour blind. What can you do?'

Customer to airline clerk: 'If I drop leaflets out the plane window, do I get frequent flyer miles?'

'Steve says Air Canada may ban cats from some of their flights... I'm not unhappy! There wasn't that much leg room.'

Airport Personnel We'd Love to See Call in Sick