Aviation Technician Gifts

'Dozens of gauges and knobs, but not one cigarette lighter to plug in my heated travel mug.'

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

"I've reported it to the Flight Engineer. He said, 'It's nothing to worry about!"

An Airport Control Tower.

'...Those damn drones have been giving us a bad name.'

First Stealth Aircraft.

"I`m not convinced that the altitude meter is functioning correctly."

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

"They were inseparable right up until the end."

"Hey look, pretty soon Uber is going to have flying cab service,"

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."

'Smart Bombs For Dummies.'

"Unfortunately, what we thought to be the black box turned out to be the navy blue box"

Aero engine workshop.

Man repairing a aeroplane wing with duct tape.

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

The World Wide Web.

Employee of the Month Parking

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Airliner

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Two airplanes

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

Red Arrows Rookies

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."