Aviation Trainer Gifts

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

'That's New.'

Captain Pointy No.13 - Flying instructor needs to go to toilet

"This is your captain speaking...."

"I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator, you're going to learn to fly on your own."

Red Arrows Rookies

Rhonda has begun to wonder whether anyone actually listens to her safety presentations.

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Here's another chance to practice our landings.'

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

Belarus Hijacks Ryanair Plane

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"Student driver."

Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

'Great first practice. Tomorrow I'll teach you how to land.'

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"