Avian First Aid Aficionado Pillows

'I took a class in avian first aid. Now I can treat any wound I get from the birds.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Caliologist

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'You reek of crackers.'

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

First aid departments

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"