Band-aid Aficionado Pillows

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'You must heal yourself.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

First aid departments

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

First Aid Box

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

"My God, now what?"

Medical Supplies

Pastoring for Dummies

"If you need anything just wink."

First aid and sculpture

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Why dogs hate CPR.