Band-aid Aficionado Pillows

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'You must heal yourself.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

First aid departments

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

First Aid Box

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"My God, now what?"

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

Does your computer have a webcam? Yes. I've fixed it so no one can spy on me. What a tech genius! A band-aid solution that works!

Medical Supplies

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Pastoring for Dummies

"If you need anything just wink."

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'

Why dogs hate CPR.

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

First aid and sculpture

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'