Foodie With A Bandaid Pillows

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

How about going easy on the carbs

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Advocado

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Flying sauces.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."