Foodie In Recovery Pillows

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

"She may be useless in the bedroom but she claims to be a wow in the kitchen!"

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Enlighten me!'

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

"I don't like sweetcorn".

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

'Let's see...we've taken you off smoking, drinking and rich food. What else do you enjoy?'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

"Think of it as cajun blackened oatmeal."

'Of course I've burnt your dinner. You're in hell!'

'As your weight-loss counselor, I must advise you to stop thinking of eating as a hobby.'

The consequences of eating junk food.

"Cream coloured ponies, crisp apple strudels, doorbells and sleighbells, schnitzel with noodles. . ."