Foodie On Hard Times Pillows

Guy begging for money holding his hat out. Next to him an out of work chef holding his frying pan out begging for money.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

Lunch Broker

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

Supermarket Aisles.

'Enlighten me!'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

"I don't like sweetcorn".

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

The consequences of eating junk food.

'If it tastes good, spit it out!'

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."

'This is an emergency, get me meals on wheels...'

'For small events, the sympathetic ear, for big ones, the sympathetic stomach!'

"She may be useless in the bedroom but she claims to be a wow in the kitchen!"

She left and took everything. How could she, he thought, she knows how much I hate grocery shopping.