Automotive Security Gifts

'I don't need an anti-theft device...I simply remove the steering wheel.'

The Anti-Agent

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Moulin Rouge Security

Scarecrows guarding a field

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Mou...Man trap!

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'