Automotive Security Gifts

'I don't need an anti-theft device...I simply remove the steering wheel.'

The Anti-Agent

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

The Scanner Of Love.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Moulin Rouge Security

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

A Little Extra

"Beware of Don"

Death to the Extremists

Scarecrows guarding a field

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"We've been cancelled."

The Best Defense

Mou...Man trap!

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?