Automotive Professionals Gifts

Car exhaust as a monster

In the Guru District

"Take me to your mechanic."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"Perfect."

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Electric car

General Motors.

Volkswagen Scandal

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

Natural gas

The American Nightmare.

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

A world choked with people mindlessly on the move

"Tesla's founder Elon Musk launched his spacex rocket today with a successful pinpoint return to earth. . . General motors said it would rebuild its plant and start again from scratch."

"It's worse than I thought."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

Motor Co - It's from Head Office, we've all got to be Crypton tuned.

'I have fixed your car. That other whining sound is your husband checking over my bill.'

Peak oil and the limited future of petrol cars.

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

Your big end has gone

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE

Mechanic: 'A grinding sound, eh? Maybe she needs a new paint job.'

Road kill - Foreign competition beating US auto domination.

Mufflers.

"I guess our moral GPS malfunctioned."

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'