Automotive Jokester Gifts

'Thank goodness I remembered to bring those spares!'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

CLEAR!

World's cheapest car

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'Power steering.'

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Driving a Lemon.

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

'Murder my spouse? Oh, that's nothing but an old wives' tale.'

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

Why politicians shouldn't be allowed to have children.

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.

New Big Three bailout cars?

"Your '94 Nissan wants you to know she's fine."

"Clear!"

"The worst thing about selling electric cars? The jokes about sticker shock."

Need for oil?

"Rad's shot. Looks like a drive-by."