Automotive Jokester Prints

'Thank goodness I remembered to bring those spares!'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

CLEAR!

World's cheapest car

Volkswagen Scandal

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'Power steering.'

Driving a Lemon.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

'Murder my spouse? Oh, that's nothing but an old wives' tale.'

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

New Big Three bailout cars?

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.

Why politicians shouldn't be allowed to have children.

"Your '94 Nissan wants you to know she's fine."

"Clear!"

"The worst thing about selling electric cars? The jokes about sticker shock."

Need for oil?