Automotive Issues Gifts

"Looks like my car won't start...I guess I'll have time for that beer after all!"

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Bob's Driving School.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Organic Soldering.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Perfect."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Rust test in progress.

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"Nap time."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

Stimulus bust

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'