Automotive Issues Gifts

"Looks like my car won't start...I guess I'll have time for that beer after all!"

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Bob's Driving School.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Organic Soldering.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Perfect."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Rust test in progress.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

"Nap time."

Stimulus bust

He did love tinkering on his cars.

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work