Automotive Alchemist T-Shirts

'What can you possible see in this piece of junk?'

In the Guru District

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Route 666

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Smile

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Natural gas

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Tyre speaking to psychiatrist: 'I've been under a lot of pressure.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Julie was never good at parallel parking.

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Alcohol Ingredients

"Yeah, I'm just here for winter break. I'm staying with my aunt Maria. She lives down the block."

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"