Automotive Alchemist T-Shirts

'What can you possible see in this piece of junk?'

In the Guru District

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Route 666

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Smile

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Natural gas

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Tyre speaking to psychiatrist: 'I've been under a lot of pressure.'

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Julie was never good at parallel parking.

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Alcohol Ingredients

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

All you'd expect in a British car!