Automobile Archaeologist T-Shirts

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"What old school? This is my life."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Car wash / Mouth wash

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

'Nice smile.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

What Hi-fi. What Camera. What Car.

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

COWS: Spare cow

"Nobody likes me...I'm a Tesla salesman!"

"The docs just install the artificial heart. We at Al's garage do the maintenance on the battery."

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

Rolls Royce with a figure of a businessman on the front.

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

'Last year, too many people were killed or injured by automobiles and trucks in the Northwest, many more than were killed or injured by cougars or wolves...'

Researchers find proof that the legendary lead foot exists.

Self Driving Car - Self Conscious Car - Self Actualized Car